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July 23, 2007

The Purple Packet

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guts splayed


I forgot to report that the letter to the editor I wrote complaining about funeral pyres on the beach bluff was published. I thought I might get my house burned down in response, but instead, the town fathers took heed and called a moratorium (so to speak) on further abominations of this sort.

I heard about my triumph through the grapevine last weekend. I am told that I am a heroine of sorts to the local good taste afficionados.

Emboldened by my success, I have decided to speak out once again. This time about a hideous purple and chartreuse (but that doesn't really matter), one pound, unsolicited, almost completely irrelevant, twenty-five piece (I counted) packet I received in the mail. It was sent by a professional organization to which I belong, in conjunction with the US Government, which I so admire.

Please remove my name from the mailing list for the compendium "Join The Voices for Recovery". Each year, to my dismay, it becomes more elaborate.

I am a -----------. The only useful pieces of information in this huge confusing packet are the directories, which weigh one ounce, and are one tenth of the whole. The literature in this mailing (which looks like it was sold to you by an advertising agency) seems more appropriate for ---------------s.

I am writing to you, rather than simply throwing a pound of high gloss paper into the recycle bin, because I believe that it is imperative that we all improve our sustainable living practices. In that light, a mailing of this sort, directed to me, is an unconscionable expenditure of taxes, dues and natural resources. Heaven only knows what all that purple ink will do to our landfills.

I would ask you to reconsider directing this information to a different audience (or at least survey the people to whom you sent it to see what they did with it), simplify your packet and print it on recyclable paper, if it must be printed at all.

Thank you for your attention.

Aren't I the smug citizen? Next I'm writing to Nancy about impeachment.

Photo note: a portrait that does not do its subject justice

Posted by Dakota at July 23, 2007 08:52 AM