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April 02, 2007

About Chinese Toilets

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I know you thought this was going to be a piece on ex advisors Matthew Dowd and Meghan L. O'Sullivan flushing George W. "'I really like him, which is probably why I’m so disappointed in things,' he said." Perhaps this is the beginning of a trend worth watching.

But no, today the subject is really Chinese toilets - the inside poop so to speak.

As you know, I was wishing for a very short folding walker to take with me to China in anticipation of culturally different facilities. I really could have used one, and I shall suggest it to Magellan's. The urinelles were a nice thought, but take an inordinate amount of practice to use effectively.

Western toilets were available in most hotels and airports. Often, there would be one western toilet in a row of squatties, but it would be taken apart, the seat leaning against the wall, the tank cover removed. Although this would create profound disappointment on my part, using a dismantled western was far better than the alternative. I was told by an old China hand, that she often finds footprints on the seat of a western toilet. She realized that Chinese women must think that squatting two feet up in the air on a slidey plastic seat with no foothold is quite dangerous indeed. The disassembling is done for safety purposes.

My traveling companions and I developed a rating system after discovering the exemplary "Five Star Toilets", an entreprenurial venture in the old city of Lijaing.

Let me begin this review with a one star facility, as illustrated above. This particular toilet was at the end of a mile and a half walk to Tiger Leaping Gorge. As you can see, it is a slit, carved into granite. There are no fancy footholds. It was made bearable by its relative cleanliness and a rather short stall door to which a girl could mercifully cling. Had I had my wits about me, I would have made better use of the large aqua bucket, but, by the time I arrived, I was a desperate person.

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The stainless steel squatter, which rates two stars in the system, is the typical model found in most restaurants and museums. It's rating is often lowered to one star when cleanliness is at issue, in which case slipping can be quite a hazard, and the consequences unthinkable.. As you can see, quarters are tight and removing one's clothing in order to avoid dampening (or worse) in a such a confined area is no mean trick. I was told by the old China hand that she once found a woman's coat neatly folded in one of these. She thought it a vengeful act.

A four star toilet earned its points for having at least one intact western toilet, whatever the sanitary condition.

The Five Star Toilets, so aptly named, were something to behold. They were centrally located in the Lijaing historic district, well advertised and staffed. Admission was about six cents, a great bargain at the price. The premises were pristine. and architecturally pleasing. There was a tiny western toilet and sink for children, as well as a larger one for adults. All the white pine paneled stalls were equipped with video screens so that customers might pass the time enjoyably. The videos I saw were acrobatic performances, but there could have been others.

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I am sorry to tell you that I never made an adequate cultural transition to squatters. the Japanese, however, may have solved my problem.

Photo note: The poor quality of the photos reflects my reluctance to use a flash in the environment, which I'm sure you'll understand.

Addendum

Posted by Dakota at April 2, 2007 09:28 AM