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November 20, 2006

Ms. Bunny Do-Good Takes On Bank of America

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Ah, 'tis a morning of protest.

On November 6, 2006, the good folk at We The People Foundation for Constitutional Education exercised their right to petition the government for redress of grievances (ignored many times). An individual member, dressed in a Guy Fawkes costume from the movie "V for Vendetta" , attempted to deliver petitions to several government offices, with varying degrees of difficulty. He alerted the powers that be that a hundred "V"s would return on November 14 to stage a silent protest in front of the White House. Scroll down for the visually effect.

Last night Howard Zinn spoke on WBUR's "World of Ideas". He reminded us that the government does not necessarily represent the people, and that the people, themselves, must find ways to speak for themselves..

Meanwhile, back here at the blog, I am personally confronting the corporatocracy. As you know, I decided to withdraw a substantial amount of money from The Bank of America in protest. Lest my small gesture be missed by the powers that be, I decided to send a letter of explanation. The Bank of America does not make clear where one might address such a letter, so I sent an email to customer service.

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I am writing let you know why I am withdrawing $$$$$$ from my Bank of America money market account.

I am joining with others who have withdrawn more that $50 million dollars from your institution in protest for your unspeakable treatment of Matthew Shinnick, and the corporate stance that has been taken toward him since his unwarranted arrest and detention. ( see story)

I am dismayed by the way a customer was treated on your premises, and by the fact that you don't seem to care about this. There are, understandably, underground bullies in every organization, who should be disciplined appropriately.

"From a public relations point of view, you are harming the reputation of the Bank of America by refusing to apologize and make appropriate financial reparations to Mr Shinnick . It leads me to believe that bullying is supported at an institutional level.

In the days before Google, an incident like this could be easily buried, but now it will be indelibly available online each time there is an internet search for Bank of America.

I urge you to take this to the highest level of your organization, and reexamine BOA's ethical stance in regard to this matter, as well as to bullying of all kinds, at every level of your organization.

Bank of America still has an opportunity to correct this situation, both internally, and with Mr. Shinnick. I urge you to do so.

Sincerely,

Ms. F.

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I received a VERY prompt response which I have copied in its entirety:

Bank of America 11/19/06

Dear Ms. F,

Thank you for your inquiry dated 11/18/06 regarding Other. [the only category that seemed appropriate to check]

Ms. F., [nice personal touch] because your account security is our highest priority, we
are unable to process your request through unsecured e-mail. We are
only able to perform account maintenance or discuss confidential
information through a secure method of contact, one that requires you to
enter an Online ID and Passcode such as Online Banking. These methods
of contact allow us to verify that a request is from the account holder
and not an unauthorized attempt to change your account.

If you have access to Online Banking, please access your account on
Online Banking through our home page at www.bankofamerica.com and go to
the Customer Service tab to submit your request.

If you are not currently an Online Banking customer, please visit our
home page at www.bankofamerica.com to enroll in this free service today.
If you are unable to enroll on our Web site, please contact us at
1.800.432.1000 for enrollment assistance.

If you are outside the US please use the number listed above along with
the ATT Direct Access Code. For more details on ATT Direct Access Codes
and dialing protocols, please visit: www.usa.att.com/traveler/index.jsp

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us again by e-mail.
Thank you for choosing Bank of America.

Sincerely,

Claire Hudder
Bank of America


Did you know? You can pay all your bills in minutes with Online Banking
with free, unlimited Bill Pay. Sign in to Online Banking and click on
the Bill Pay and e-Bills tab to get started paying bills today.

This message is in response to your recent request. If you are not the
addressee please contact us. Any reply to this e-mail will not be
secure; please do not respond with personal or confidential information.

===========================================


Dear Miss Hudder.

If you are a a real person, you have my deepest sympathies It must be terrible to have a job that requires you to send a canned response letter that makes no sense, and then sign your own name to this correspondence. It is a name, by the way, that inspires confidence. I hope it's not real, for your sake.

I don't think you read my letter, which is understandable if you are an android. Clearly your organization has selected talking points with which to respond when a complaint arrives. I am left to assume that my feedback has been crushed in the recycle bin. It would have been more soothing, even if you had to lie, to tell me that you had passed my letter along to customer relations, or your supervisor. You might have taken it one step farther, and actually done so.

The avenue you suggested at the customer service tab, thanks me for my feedback (30 lines or less) and says quite explicitly "While we appreciate your input we regret that we cannot respond individually to feedback submitted here" . Small comfort to the dissatisfied customer. You might have given me the name of a person I could contact about this matter. Perhaps that job was eliminated in the merger. I am now left to my own devices

Hasn't anyone at the Bank of America heard this story?

"I once asked a LAME in Cairns if the tropical climate caused any peculiar aircraft maintenance problems.

He thought for a moment and said, "Yes, cockroaches, because they thrive in all the hidden recesses despite blazing heat on the ground and chilly temperatures in flight, and can really make a mess."

Then he told me a story about a businessman who woke up some years ago on an international flight only to find a giant cockroach crawling down his cheek. He was so revolted by this that he filled in a complaint form about the incident and sent it off.

Some weeks later a letter from the airline's Public Relations Manager landed on his desk. It was an outstanding example of the practitioner's art and convincingly explained the airline's strict precautions against such pests before admitting that, in very rare circumstances, bugs did get on board their airliners, but when they did so, it was always somebody else's fault; the unhygienic dumps they had to land at, or when they had to rely on contractors for servicing, or when carried aboard in passenger's hand luggage.

Then to show how repentant the airline was, the PR manager invited the business man to present his letter at check-in when next he flew, when he would be automatically upgraded to first class.

After carefully filing the letter, the business man crumpled up the envelope and pitched it into the waste paper basket. As it landed he noticed something inside it. So he retrieved the envelope and withdrew one of the ubiquitous Post-it notes used nowadays to write messages in every office around the globe and apparently enclosed in error by the PR Manager's secretary.

It was his instruction to her to, "Just send this jerk the standard cockroach letter.""

Bank of America needs one of those.

As long as I'm consulting. If someone seems to be registering a complaint when you go through your "other" email, it's probably not a good time to try to sell them something.

Sincerely,

Ms. F.

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HERE'S WHAT THE CUSTOMER RELATIONS BOX AT BANK OF AMERICA, BURIED DEEP IN THE BOWELS OF THE WEBSITE, SAYS:

"While we appreciate your input we regret that we cannot respond individually to feedback submitted here. To send us a message & receive a response click here." [a place you have already been --Ms. Hudder's dead end department]

"Select a topic and provide your comments and suggestions in the text box below".
Topic: select one- acccounts and statements, credit card, enhancements, downloads, site navigation/design, payees, payments, site performance, transfers, view check deposit images, and the ubiquitious "other".

"Please Note: Approximately 30 text lines may be sent."
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What is a girl to do if she cannot make her point in thirty lines? Put together her own Guy Fawkes costume? It would be ill advised to wear a mask into a bank, particularly one of this sort.

Those with greater wisdom would question spending any time at all on this icky project. I'll try to mind my own business from now on ---- if I am not further provoked by androids.

Photo note: Miss Bunny Do-Good, hanging by her own petard, is pursued by an android.

Posted by Dakota at November 20, 2006 06:45 AM