January 23, 2005
Watering Can Portending
This morning I can barely push my door open because of drifted snow. It's a big blizzard , and a photogenic one at that. It's a day to sip hot chai, write, and read the adorable correspondence my mother saved from my children as they found ways of wishing her happy birthdays (there were many- both ways and birthdays), thanking her for her generosity, telling of their travels, and toodling through their lives. As I read, I feel so blessed by my proximity to their creative souls .
My mother also saved my correspondence, which I haven't yet plumbed - that is, my correspondence since 1964. The letters prior to 1964 are quite another story. Sometime in her seventies, my mother copied over all of my letters home, in her own Palmer method hand - a monumental task, since there was a letter per week (given the extravagance of long distance phone calls and the unending obligation of a duty-bound only child), four hundred and eighty pages in all. I have the spiral, blue, lined classroom notebook that she gave me - filled with myself. Although I thought I should have been grateful, I felt more like she had vicariously lived, and somehow ingested my life while copying my letters -- one of those enmeshment experiences that made being her daughter hard. Of course, my letters are jolly , newsy and chock full of cultural activities . I skillfully evaded the considerable despair of those years, to prevent further intrusion. Excellent preparation for writing a blog. Now I try to be more honest about my feelings, but anonymity makes that so much easier.
It's a day to organize underwear drawers and simmer a large pot of soup on the stove, infusing the house with essence of French onion . A Sunday without the mandatory, but time consuming, Wedding Section. (Update: To my absolute astonishment, the paper did arrive. A VERY large tip is in order.)
It's hopeless to begin shoveling. The wind is gusting mightily, and the snow is coming down at an ungodly rate. Now that it's light, I shall go outside and try to take pictures that aren't all snow splat .
Photo note: Captured after a light dusting.
Posted by Dakota at January 23, 2005 08:01 AM