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This was going to be the perfect photo for a trial big hole, but, just when I was going to shut up and sweat, I had a healing adventure worthy of comment.
Long ago I think I mentioned that I was going to see Mark Fourman, a practitioner trained by Lansing Gresham , who is the developer of Integrated Awareness . After reading "Ask Anything and Your Body Will Answer" , I thought Integrated Awareness would be a better starting point for beginning movement exploration than Qigong. As you may remember I am a Qigong dropout having had a full-body emotional seizure in response to my most rudimentary attempts. I thought I'd start smaller.
Several weeks ago Mark came back from a training with a new technique called Archimedes Lever . He described its effects. (In his case, awakening happy each morning. Who wouldn't go for that?) and talked about the procedure. While doing? inserting? wielding? the Lever, the practitioner follows the thread of one emotion throughout the client's karmic stream, past present and future, and clears the strands of that emotion that are not needed for This Life's Purpose. Of course I wanted my Archimedes Levering immediately. Shame was my first emotional choice. I did it a couple of days ago.
A team of two is required. Mark and his partner, Rachel, explained to me that treating? removing? clearing? shifting shame might create an inbalance in the tripod of shame, fear and anger. They warned me that I could be fairly angry once shame is released. Okay.
Doing shame, though my first choice, was a hard call for them, since there was alot of activity in my spleen, which indicated that disappointment might be a better emotion with which to begin. They had a short discussion and decided that although my spleen was clouded, it was not turbulant and wily like my pancreas, the seat of shame. I was eager to start with shame, where I felt I would get the most bang for my buck, pervasive as it seems in my being. I really would have been disappointed to do disappointment. And so it was agreed.
Mark stood at my head and Rachel at my feet. I lay on a massage table, fully clothed, I might add for those of you who may be considering this method and still have untreated cosmic shame. They went through a fifteen minute body prep, aligning my brain and spinal column. Their dialog went something like:
M: Can you get C7 when you get a chance?
R: I'll be there as soon as I'm finished with the pancreas.
The back of my left frontal cortex was a little stubborn, but we got the job done.
Then Mark, riding the brain position, told me not to worry about him during this procedure because he was going to be processing alot of this stuff through his body, be assured that he knew how to care for himself. He had, himself, worried about the practitioner who had Levered him. He said I would probably experience very little down there on the table. He was right. Once I saw a live, dull gold scarab and then a small circular cathedral window with a stone pattern, sacred geometry. Wish I could find an accurate picture but it was something like this . Once I felt my vagina contract. That was about it.
As I understood it, from my prone position, Rachel's job was to track my organs and keep me embodied, while Mark rode the brain. They both think that the persistant fascitis in my feet is an unwillingness to be here on earth, grounded -- probably precipitated by childhood dissociation and exacerbated by old age.
And then they began. Mark was doing alot of heavy breathing and mild groaning over my head. Once he said his whole body hurt. As they worked, they checked in with one another about landing locations. I heard them agree to leave the personality for the time being and go up to soul where we made pit stops at levels 9, 10, 11, and 12 as best I can remember. Sometimes someone lingered longer on a level because there was alot of material coming through. I think the material was referred to as "spokes". Suffice it to say that I had about 300 all in all, a goodly portion, but not that unusual.
I asked what had passed by in the spokes. Mark said he couldn't see content. I said, "Like cleaning out your purse?" He said. "Like dumping your purse into a sieve, so that only the larger items stay, and the rest of the detrius flows out." They both said that you don't really get to examine what goes in the trash.
Was it successful? I do feel more empty spaces inside my body today. I always think that's a good thing, more room for the spirit and all. My feet are considerably better. My wings feel properly weighted, so that my shoulders are low and relaxed rather than muffling my ears. So far, I haven't felt the need to visciously attack , with the possible exception of the Olympus Camera Board of Documentation. Nor have I run naked in the glade . Maybe in the spring. Change is slow. I oughta know.
Photo note: This is a millstone, the kind one wears frequently around one's neck.
Posted by Dakota at December 5, 2004 08:22 AMDakota my dear, maybe it's just my rebellious do-it-yourself nature, but it seems to me you could do a great job of karmic housecleaning yourself, with or without Archimedes, using your gift for making imaginative and relevant associations between apparently disparate objects. For instance start with the word (just the word, never mind the emotion) "shame" and follow it wherever it takes you, in pictures, in words, whatever. On your blog.
Posted by: Natalie at December 6, 2004 07:55 AM
Dear Natalie-
Wonderful suggestion. I have been known to dust around a few feelings in this way, but never thought to attempt a full karmic housecleaning. (Housecleaning is not my forte)
I think you are talking about a complex journey into the land of clickies. Perhaps I will start with something like ham and cheese sandwiches and move up to more serious content.
The brain percolates. D
Posted by: Dakota at December 6, 2004 10:21 PMDakota, such a piece....it made my full day....I laughted to tears....good images and perfect words....such a pleasure to read you...unfortunately I lost my previous message...I was saying that only love will do it...and I love your creativity.... you are really on the leading edge....Ciao
Posted by: Ari at December 7, 2004 08:56 AMHi there Ari -
I'm so glad to make you giggle, and to know that you are out there in the virtual sending your love.
I'm sorry you lost your first comment. This is not a wonderful system and it has gobbled more words than I can tell you. Thanks for persisting.
It's lovely to hang with you on the leading edge. Ciao D
Dear Dako, yes that's just what I meant. But also the amazing things that sometimes happen when one starts to link up threads in an apparently random way and they gradually spell out a message which is completely relevant to some answer we were seeking, perhaps unconsciously.
I think you have that psychic touch.
Dear Natalie -
Prompted by your comment, I spent the early morning flopping over the good gray folds of my frontal cortex searching for the word "synchronicity". Then, what do you know, the very first person I met with this morning happens to be smack in the middle of a shower of synchronicities, and, thus, the word miraculously appeared. I love it when that happens! Whatever will be next?
Heartily appreciating the little thread we just made together, I remain D
Posted by: Dakota Feinstein at December 10, 2004 03:17 PM