March 21, 2004
Asleep, thunk.
It's a little after six and I am up but not chirpy, which is most unusual. No leap from the bed to the fleece, no songs to sing. I'm tired and it's after 3 AM. What could this be?
More unusual occurrences. Last night at the ballet, I fell asleep as predicted. Not only was I snoring, I was snapping my neck so that my lips smacked, in a vain attempt to pay attentions, and I was hot. So uncomfortably hot. Not hot flash hot, Sahara at noon hot, constant. Noone else was hot like this. The ballet was not so hot.
Although the principal dancers were breathtaking, the scenery was discount, (what there was of it, was well done), and the costumes too muddy, hiding body parts doing graceful things, against the black backdrop. Thank goodness there were several bedroom scenes when the principals wore white nighties and shirtsleeves.
In addition the woman sitting in front of me had the only beehive I have seen in the city, in the decade. Pray that she doesn't have season tickets, or that she just had a bad hair day and decided to put it up with ten dollars worth of product. The beehive took centerstage. Fortunately there was alot of to and fro, and I was mostly prostrated by my internal fire.
This morning when I pried myself out of bed at six, The Trail Head reported that I was sweating profusely last night. He, more understated usually, suggested malaria. I was fast asleep, so I wouldn't know.
I suspect that this is the result of the work I did yesterday morning with the Angel of New Mexico and Missouri. She comes to town intermittently to do somatic repatterning for her flock. I am honored to be on her list.
Since I am no longer in chronic fascial pain, we were able to work on what I call "my bullet hole" because that's what it feels like. It's a spot deep inside my thorax (the hole aspect), with a point of entry right next to my right scapula.
The area of concern, the knotted chi, is at the juncture (some of you won't be at all surprized) of the meridia of the small intestine and gall bladder Ahhhh holding resentment about love. We muscle tested up a storm, and more was revealed. The problem, in the Chinese system, was wood. (Wood is something not so nice when it's out of balance, which I have blocked because I still prefer to think of myself as a nice person, after all this.)
I also had an image of a woodpecker residing in that spot. A book of animal symbols was suggested. "The woodpecker is able to find food hidden under layers of bark and wood. Woodpecker energy is associated with prophecy and the ability to see deeper than surface lies." I was hearing woodpeckers outside my door a few days ago, too, which I noted in my blog.
It's always hard to remember exactly what happens, (tape recordings fail) but the treatment came down to releasing the hatred and shame that were projected onto me when my mother nursed me, in addition to my resentment about this, since she was supposed to be connecting me to life force energy during mealtime, and that wasn't happening.
My mother, bless her heart, nursed me in the modern age of sanitary bottle feeding. She was a contemporary, extraordinarily clean, woman, convinced by her nursey friends that breast feeding was best for baby health. She was completely disgusted by the messiness and insterility of the process. It was also always hard for her to sit down, especially if there was anything out of place in the house. A killer combo.
In my first meeting with the Angel, three years ago, she asked me if I liked being human. (I think that's a screening question she always uses). She thought I had alot of energy in the great beyond, which I could not bring into my body. She reminded me that I had said that I was beginning to like it. Now I feel like I could really get into this thing called being human.
Anyway, yesterday, we did a bunch of releasing of "old identities", patterns and beliefs. The Angel suggested that I set some new intentions too. One had to do with forgiving my mother, which is easy now that she is unplugged and pretty much pure spirit, without "improvement" commentary. I do want to increase my sphere of influence, effortlessly, without doing one more thing than I'm already doing. A blog is a good base for that. I forgot to clarify what am trying to influence. Hopefully it will come to me.
The Angel said that when she first discovered her work, she asked that people find her, who could benefit from her services. That sounds good.
Denoument: I do not think I have malaria. I think the treatment I received from the Angel yesterday changed something big --perhaps my metabolism--- keep your fingers crossed.
Maybe it was just that I succumbed to the Mike N' Ikes that were passed to me. I usually never eat sugar.