February 07, 2004
pain update
I sometimes think that the amount of body pain I experience, equals the amount of resistance to embodied spirit I have. That's why I get to do an organ recital.
I have a pain in the neck. ( I thank my body for being so clear. I just have to decide what is causing it, and move away from the cause. I'm not very good at that.)
My feet are considerably improved. (I had terrible fascial pain on top of my arch and where all the toes bend to go on tiptoe). Of course, just as they improved, I finally have an appointment with Dr. Foot Allknowing (been waiting 4 months) In fact the removal of my appendix last week coincided with the improvement. Also you may remember, I did get my Masai sneakers and have been wearing them , except today-- I'm wearing a skirt and they are clunk city.
Unlike the Chinese way, begin with 30 percent and move up to 70 -- I throw 126 percent of mud at the wall hoping some will stick. ( this seems like a mixed metaphor, but I can't figure out how to fix it.) Some of the mud generally does adhere, but I'm never sure which mudball made the real difference, and they all get mixed up on the wall. Then I have situations, like taking tumeric every morning as a supplement, that I don't quite understand. I am hesitant to stop. Wish that muscle testing stuff worked for me. I took a course in thought field therapy that used muscle testing, and I could not get the right answer out of any muscle in my body. My scrambled energy mixed me up with the people on whom I was practicing too. I can't trust my muscles yet (dah!) If I could , I could hold stuff in my hand and if I felt something, I would know whether it was right for me. Maybe this is just grandiose thinking. Perhaps I need to set an intention in this area. I could muscle test everything I ingest to see if it was right for me.
Report card:
Shoulder-neck area: C-
Feet: B
Appendix: A - completely gone
Generalized fascial pain: B
When I saw the photo, the thought hit me: Ugly duckling. The swan in this photo is just prior to the moment of lifting his (her) head out of the water to see his (her) reflection, and realizing: oh my God, all my life I've been trying so hard to be a duck, when all along I am Something Else. At this point, though my memory is fuzzy as swan's down, I believe she realizes she's surrounded by other swans and has finally found her community.
Cue Danny Kaye! "There once was an ugly duckling, with feathers all stubby and brown. . . "
Margaret
Posted by: Margaret Gunning at February 7, 2004 10:16 AMAnd I picked that photo because of the neck (cuteness did count a little too.)
I was recently encouraged to read the Ugly Duckling myth in Clarissa Estes book "Women Who Run with the Wolves". Hers was not exactly as I remember Hans Christian Anderson's version. (I can picture Danny Kaye dancing around in that Danish Square) The swan had an unhappier adolescence, but stuck around the old lake until his adoptive parents croaked. It was only then that he ventured out, and took a few seasons to find his tribe.
Let's hear it for being Something Else.
Posted by: Dakota at February 7, 2004 05:11 PM