Dakota

Hey listen, don't feel bad about reacting to hair problems. I had the same stylist, Betty, for ten years. She became more than a hairdresser to me (she even cut my daughter's hair for years, so functioned as a kind of informal family therapist). I truly liked her energy and attitude, and felt this ongoing attachment to her, and on top of all that she was a genius with my fine, limp, hard-to-do-anything-with hair. She styled me for my daughter's wedding, and I've never had so many compliments in my life, not just "great hair" but "you look too young to be Shannon's Mom!" Then all of a sudden the salon was closing down and Betty was going into business with another lady, somewhere far away. I checked out the new site, and it was in the middle of this really bleak industrial park, and I got a bad vibe from it, just awful. Then I phoned to make my first appointment, and: sorry, Betty is no longer with us! She is no longer hairdressing and has decided to go back to school. I KNEW there was more going on than this, but didn't have her phone # and felt uncomfortable about trying to trace her. Hey, is it THAT big a deal to find a new stylist?

YES!!! Though I have found another lady who does a pretty good job, it just is not the same. I no longer get compliments on looking younger. My hair is sad. Just sad. Limp, "endy", messy-looking at the worst of times; it lacks Betty's special touch, her "love". For isn't hairdressing a form of tending? My mother used to wash my hair for me, and I remember it; it was just about the only tenderness I ever had from her.

It was, actually, traumatic to lose Betty. There is a significant hole in my life. She has left me. At times I've felt actually abandoned! My "crown" is gone. Instead I have this limp, sad-looking nest on top of my head. It's awful, really. I want to stick feathers up there or something. I loathe hats, but I may start wearing one. This is my HEAD, for God's sake, the thing people look at first!

Hair matters. Believe me.

Margaret

Hi Margaret - Your hair looks great on your website -- were those photos taken before Betty's mysterious disappearance? Perhaps you inspired her to a higher calling. Back to school is good, given the rigors of hairdressing on the body (and exposure to all those chemicals longterm)

It seems that I busted a gut shortly after my hissy fit. I am well enough to get myself out to the boonies on Friday to be repaired. Meanwhile I am hiding indoors.

I am going to a week-long seminar in Mexico mid February. Somewhere, deep in the brochure, with bring a flashlight, was don't bring a hairdryer, due to energy conservation. I almost cancelled.
I will bring many "products" - goop up, never look in the mirror for the week and hope my spirit will shine through
Always lovely to hear from you

Yes, those photos (taken by David Middleton of January Magazine, for free - he's a real doll) were pre-loss-of-Betty. She just made me feel like a million bucks. You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. . .

I'll be sitting in the audience of a local TV interview show next Monday featuring Gabor Mate. His new book with Gordon Neufeld (HOLD ON TO YOUR KIDS) is now out, and I'm reviewing it for the Edmonton Journal. The basic premise is that parents have lost their power, and the subsequent "attachment void" has caused kids to glom on to each other - kids trying to raise each other, so to speak, with the expected results (gangs, violence, premature sexual activity - it's true, I keep hearing about 12-year-olds having oral sex!)

Anyway, I'll give you a full report once I've had my Gabor sighting.

Margaret

Margaret I cannot wait for your next Gabor installment. He's churning out these books faster than I can read them. puff,puff