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October 29, 2003

Magnolias

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Magnolias


I'm writing in the wrong box because I can't call up a template from the archives to copy. Oh well.

I promised my feet that I would appear in "public" today. My feet have been hurting for three years and they responded positively to this promise. I could not let them down, since they can make my life miserable if they aren't pleased. I'm copying this from the yellow legal pad I've been using for my musings.

I live in a self created, trauma precipitated box of fear. This is my first attempt to operate outside of the box, and, of course, my little mind is busy predicting shame and humiliation -( I can't forget that there is a possibility that someone will be able to relate to this material, and like it and find it helpful in their journey, but I do) This is why following a gut feeling for people who have been traumatized is insane. Their gut feelings stop them from trying anything new, speaking out etc. Their guts are only listening to station FEAR. all terror, all day, all night. That distorts perception and creates a "reality" that looks threatening, rather than a reality that is neutral with a variety of possibilities. Some of us respond to the threatening reality we have created with dissociation, invisibility and silence, while others get angry, and act out with righteous justification for unloving behavior.

The photos remind me, and hopefully you, that there is astonishing beauty all around us. Paying attention to beauty is a discipline for people like me, who are tuned to channel FEAR, hence the magnolias and the sky.


Organelle To Return from the Dream with a Complete Toy

Posted by Dakota at October 29, 2003 09:07 PM